The Creme Brûlée Challenge
Want to expand your capacity to receive?
The Creme Brûlée* Challenge:
Ask a complete stranger to buy you something for more than $10
Examples: 2 coffees or a Creme Brûlée or a foot massage
You can’t tell them you are on a challenge.
Strive to be fully honest
For example if they ask if you have money, and you do, be honest.
You are not allowed to reciprocate, simply be there to receive.
What happens?
Report back.
*My Experience
I was setup.
My coach, that sneaky and brilliant David Stegman, asked if I wanted to increase my capacity to receive? Of course I do!!
Then he described the challenge above. Damn.
I had 7 days with some travel mixed in.
Of course I left it to the last day. I talked to ChatGPT and then enlisted the help of some friends to game plan.
Inevitably, I had to do the thing.
Well, actually, I did not have to do anything but the idea of getting on the call and not having attempted it was simply not an option!
During an opening early that morning, I put my plan into motion. I went directly to a local market, cafe style place in downtown Calgary. Sunterra Market in Bankers Hall. This is the fancy, shmancy, building full of lawyers and bankers and good coffee, in the heart of Calgary’s downtown.
I am looking for an item. What will it be??
After assessing sandwiches and premade meals, I decided something fun like this would be appropriate…
…I am not even a big fan of Creme Brûlée, particularly at 8 am.
Alas it solved the $10 challenge and had me chuckling a bit.
The Play by Play
With Creme Brûlée, priced at $10.99, in hand I assess the situation.
How do I approach a stranger and ask them to buy me something?
I am also mindful that I am a 6”2” male and ensuring that I approach respectfully was going through my head.
It’s a bit intrusive at the till when people are buying stuff, no time to connect.
Many people have headphones in and/or are in a big hurry.
How do I get their attention?
I began moving towards someone a couple of times and they were on their way.
I bailed on a couple others with people next to me, looking at drink options.
Over 20 minutes goes by…
I can feel the clock ticking.
I am so present. Activated. Curious. How this will go???
I am waiting for someone…but who?
5 more minutes goes by…
I finally see someone moving a bit more slowly, they are looking for something, I wonder if that’s the person? How would I possibly know?
They are at the other end of the store. I drift over, Creme Brûlée in hand, they had gone around a corner.
I make my way there. I position myself at the corner.
I wonder if this is it.
She approaches, I say “Hi!”
“Hello” she says back.
I am holding the Creme Brûlée…I ask her
“Will you buy this for me?”
“Why?” she seems a bit astonished. Perhaps mildly curious?
What do I say?! I did not have an answer…
“Well it’s just a request.” I think that’s what I said.
“You don’t have any money?” she asks (a very logical question).
“I have money.” I reply back.
She’s assessing.
“Well why would I buy that for you?”
I have no idea what to say.
I am 100% present.
Nothing else in the world is happening.
I think I say,”It’s just an opportunity.”
I smile and just kind of stand there.
She says “Okay.” !!!!!
Takes the Creme Brûlée and and we are walking to the till.
I am stunned. I catch myself and say “Thank you”
I introduce myself. She is stopping in after a workout. We talk about a range of things.
It’s lovely. I am totally present.
At the till, she pays.
And hands me my Creme Brûlée!
The Ripples
I thank her again for making my week.
I explain the coaching challenge and express gratitude for her support. I walk away smiling across my whole body.
For the record, I had pre-bought a $25 gift card for the store and I gave that to her. (Alas, I found out later that this was outside the rules. The idea is to receive without reciprocity (we always want to pay people back, can we simply learn receive?))
This means I am likely to try this again.
I ended up telling this story multiple times over the rest of the week.
At dinner that night, we came back to it a number of times. I had just met two business leaders/builders and started with the Creme Brûlée story…
We bonded over the reflection that we are often helping others yet seldom asking for help when we need it.
Maybe this could change?
We will all remember that conversation.
Ask the Question
Right now, the answer is no.
“But when I ask? The answer might be no. Or it might be yes. Or it might be something better than yes—it might be an opening to something I couldn’t have imagined.” - Gary Mahler from this post
What do you want?
What can you ask for?
I Wonder What the Impact Was
We don’t get to know the impact we have.
The ripples we send out. I wonder how this was for the “Kind Generous Amazing Person” who bought me the Creme Brûlée!
I will never forget that Creme Brûlée and Kim for buying it for me.
Thank you.
Wow, what a fascinating experiment. I was honestly nervous for you just imagining the scenario.
It really made me wonder about the ripple effects... we’re so used to noticing how negative interactions spread (someone cuts you off in traffic → you arrive flustered → the energy in the room shifts → you carry it home → you sleep poorly, etc.), but we rarely talk about or even notice the quieter, positive ones.
I'd like to imagine that Kim left the store with a grin on her face, reflected on the moment on her way to work, maybe shared it with her family later that day, maybe her husband told a friend, who then tried something similar with someone else. And instead of adding ripples of "negative" energy into the world, you're adding positive energy that inspires and creates thought provoking conversations.