Judgement: the Barrier

First Guest Collaboration

Seeing it Everywhere

Ever have that feeling like the Universe is trying to tell you something?

Ever start to see a theme in your life?

Lately, for me, it’s been Judgement. Judgement of myself, judgement of others. I seem to be reading it, hearing, and talking about it all over.

I have something to learn here.

“The judgments you hold about other people aren’t just opinions. They’re barriers between you and everything you desire.”

- Gary Mahler. Post

When I am in judgement, it reduces me, and the world around me.

Guest Post: “Judgement”

by David Stegman (https://www.thecourageousway.com/)

Being in judgment is lethal.

Lethal to connection.

Lethal to understanding.

Lethal to curiosity.

Lethal to my neighbours.

Lethal to my loved ones.

Lethal to my heart.

Separation is lethal.

When I’m judgmental, I become dangerous.

Violently excluding others.

Turning my back.

Closing the door.

Weapons start to come out.

My armour comes online.

When I act from fear, I’m dangerous.

When I’m afraid, I’m dangerous.

When I’m stubborn, I’m dangerous.

When I put people into boxes, I’m dangerous.

When I feel judged, I’m dangerous.

My privilege makes me extra dangerous.

I can flex my unearned privileges.

My resources.

My whiteness.

My straightness.

My maleness.

My education.

My unearned sense of belonging to make others not belong.

Judgment is the poison that when I drink it as truth, I hurt people.

I hurt myself.

I hurt my communities.

I then share that poison as truth, which infects my brothers.

They hurt people.

They hurt themselves.

They hurt their communities.

And the cycle of judgments continues.

The real work is having the courage to open my heart.

Open my heart when I don’t understand.

Open my heart when I’m afraid.

Open my heart during conflict.

Open my heart to difference.

Open my heart when I’m being judged.

It’s to stop drinking the poison of judgment.

To share from my heart.

To love.

To be loved.

To be curious.

To forgive.

The world needs less judgment and more love.

We’ll all win.

-Thanks David for your permission to include this.

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The Opportunity

As David so eloquently puts it, the cost of judgement is high (to self and world) and so are the benefits of reducing/eradicating judgement.

I am still working on this. Perhaps I will be for a long time.

I don’t have the answers although the first step seems to be:

Can we notice our judgement?

With that, my best guess for the second step is:

Be curious about the source of that judgement.

After that, some grace for ourselves, what’s next?

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

I do believe a world with less judgement is a better world and a version of me without judgement is a better man.